Age is Just a Number

Is age just a number.  I don't feel middle aged.  I feel and probably act like a 20 something. (Especially around the Mummy when I find myself going into child mode)

Anyone who has met me recently, as in the last 6 years, knows I can and will hold my own verbally.  In fact, its safe to say I love a heated debate.  That hasn't always been the case.  As we grew up I was the shy one who would quietly plead inside my own head not to be talked to.  I never knew what to say or how to respond if spoken to and would give off an embarrassed red glow at the slightest "how are you?"

The Sister on the other hand, was obviously dished all the confidence when him upstairs was doling it out. She would control every conversation (and still tries to), never shying away if she had the slightest hint of attention. She would be at the height of glory in front of an audience. Even an audience of 1. 

Nowadays, its not like that.  Nowadays, its like a verbal tag team. Her confidence has rubbed off on me. As each decade has passed, I have reached a new confidence and now in my mid 40's I can laugh at myself and not fear humility. Being shy and lacking confidence for me was all about not looking stupid and a fear of saying the wrong things and people not liking me. Nowadays, I constantly say the wrong thing, constantly put my big size 6's in it but nowadays I can laugh it off.

So is age just a number? For me age is confidence, wisdom and understanding, and being able to be who I am and understanding who I am. Even though sometimes, I wish I could keep my mouth shut and be less gobby.  But thats just me, at this age.  Maybe in the next decade, when I join the over 50's swimming and other such activities, I will change again.

I would love to have had the confidence I have now back in my teens. To be able to say 'no' instead of 'ok then' or to not feel so conscious about myself that it stopped me from doing alot of things. I love being grown up and wouldn't go back there if you offered.  But I love the memories I have made through each and every decade.

So where does this confidence grow from.  To go from being practically introvert to a girl standing on a chair at a party making everyone watch her air guitar to Abba. Maybe it comes from life experiences but for me personally it comes from family loving you unconditionally. From family giving you the belief that you can achieve anything. (even cooking!!!!)

As always.............Sent wiv Love

xxxxx